jetpack technology

2009-03-30T01:12:00.007+01:00

here's a hypothetical conversation:

him: do you want to come for a run with me?

me: I would love to but I've actually got a broken leg

him: come on, it'll be fun

me: no really, I've got a broken leg

him: oh please come running with me

me: seriously, my leg is broken. I can't go for a run

him: come on, what's the worst that can happen?

me: I don't think you're listening to me. I'll be in agony for a start and probably won't do me any good in the long term either

him: I think you're just afraid of letting go and relaxing, come on you'll be with friends

me: no that's not it and please don't try to psycho-analyse me. Don't you understand english?

him: okay you might be a bit sore tomorrow but it'll be worth it

me: no I'll be in a lot of pain for a quite a long time. I really can't go running with you.

him: oh come on, we'll jog slowly, you don't have to go fast

me: I've got a broken leg, jogging slowly won't make any difference at all

him: oh please please please! live a little!

me: FFS, what part of "I've got a broken leg don't you understand?!"

okay I don't have a broken leg, but I had a (much longer) conversation just like that with a friend who was trying to persuade me to go clubbing, having already spent several hours drinking and bobbing about to the music in the pub which was quite a marathon in itself. Trying to explain to someone the reality of chronic fatigue syndrome is impossible sometimes. In my experience there are some people who understand, and you remain friends with them. The rest, you eventually lose touch with...

2009-03-29T02:20:00.002+01:00

I am glad there are videos like this which are always there to cheer you up (should you ever need them)

2009-03-19T22:37:00.002+01:00

oh look, my home is on google streetview - which is surprising. I think the photo was taken last summer. Having a look around the street corner, I can see the little muscle man with the fondness for tight t-shirts is standing outside the school, waiting for his kids. If I've not seen him for a few days I can go on google maps now for a quick fix... is that a bit sad, or a bit sinister?

funnily enough I was just watching a report about the technology on Ch4+1 just half an hour ago...

2009-03-14T18:05:00.002+01:00

I'm not sure I'd want to watch a film which seems to celebrate/trivialise extreme violence and psychopathy, especially as it's based on a true story, but despite that the guy that plays "Bronson" is supersexy. He's got muscles, a vest, a shaved head and a moustache, it's bound to be a big gay hit - I may just watch it and be completely distracted from the unpleasantness..

video review here

2009-03-04T14:39:00.003+01:00

apparently a lot of private schools are giving up GCSEs in favour of something called the IGCSE which is a bit more challenging. I like this quote:

"The entire GCSE syllabus is rather like getting able students through a combination of dressage and a low hurdle race. You have to explain to them how they put their feet very carefully over low hurdles so they will not irritate the examiner. It's not challenging at all"

and this one:

"The new GCSEs are appalling for the most able students. They are simply pap, they are baby food, they are examination rusks in too many subjects, and they do not stretch and challenge the most able"

This doesn't surprise me at all. I did some subjects at 'O' Level which were pretty hard, having to memorise long formulae etc, and some others were 16+ or GCSE exams and those were so utterly childish and rudimentary it was almost laughable and I was annoyed at all the unnecessary preparation I'd made for them. Every year when the exam results come out the government tells us how well everyone has done and how standards are getting higher and higher, but it's clear to me that despite all their protestations to the contrary, they just lower the bar a little more every year. It's hard to imagine how GCSE students are going to manage 'A' levels and degrees - though they could be getting easier too, who knows. I suspect 'A' levels are considering how nearly everyone gets A grades these days and the universities can no longer tell the gifted students from the less gifted...

2009-03-01T02:52:00.005+01:00

here's a joke about Bono:

What's the difference between Bono and God?

Answer: God doesn't walk down the street thinking he's Bono

I'm reminded of this joke because of the news story of Bono calling Chris Martin (of Coldplay) a w*nker on Radio 1 - that's a bit like Britney Spears calling Christina Aquilera slutty.... pot meet kettle etc... or more like "this town ain't big enough for the both of us (w*nkers)"

Apparently U2 played an "impromptu" gig on the roof of broadcasting house to promote their new album. They used to say "pop will eat itself" but now U2 is eating itself - i.e. they did a very similar thing years ago when it did actual cause quite a stir. Now like so many artists/personalities in the public eye, they've resorted to glibly parodying themselves due to a lack of original ideas...

2009-02-28T20:59:00.002+01:00

so that's what it looks like behind the Gizmodo blog - nice!

I've been in a real mood for enjoying and aquiring (more) plants having read quite a lot lately about how good they are at removing toxins and pollutants from the air - as verified by NASA. I already have two of the best in my little room - a peace lily and an areca palm. Amongst all the other plants, I also have a pot of Riccia liverwort and Java moss to use in my fish tank at another time. Today I bought a Jasmine plant (half price!) which has about 200 little flowers all poised to open so the scent is going to be incredible - I'm wondering if it'll be too overpowering but we shall see (or smell) pretty soon I think. I don't know much about looking after Jasmine but according to Google it's actually quite particular and labour intensive so we'll see if I can keep it going till it flowers again next year...

if only I had the money and expertise I'd build me one of these...

2009-02-19T22:18:00.002+01:00

are you tired of seeing Myleene Klass's grinning face everywhere? I certainly am. I don't even find here a particularly credible presenter. Instead of getting on with the job she's always grinning from ear to ear as if to say "oh my god, look it's me on my telly! It's only the 5th time today. Can you believe it? isn't it fantastic?!" - what she actually did say for real is "it's my job to be everywhere", oh dear. And can you believe she's replaced the legendary Nicky Hambleton-Jones? Grrr! I even loaded up Photoshop in order to alter the above ad for M&S - that's how much it annoys me! Hopefully she's soon go the same way as retired media-whores Claire Sweeney, Carol Vorderman and Linda Barker...

2009-01-31T23:12:00.005+01:00

here's a new fishy movie for you showing off my new community members, five little endler's livebearers. I was planning to breed some but it seems most people aren't interested in the plain females, only the pretty males so I was only able to buy males. They are very funny though, constantly racing around like naughty children. The minnows found them a bit annoying at first but everyone is getting on fine now. They have a habit of chasing eachother, then chasing eachother away, then changing their minds straight away and chasing after the one they just chased away. They do that all day. It sounds like quite a nightmarish existence but they seem to enjoy it. Here you can see them trying to pinch the sinking pellets which are meant for the bottom feeders (the catfish which you can see hoovering the gravel):

2008-12-22T00:08:00.003+01:00

I always wanted a lamp that could project the kind of light you get underwater or on the bottom of a swimming pool on a sunny day - and now you can buy one - only it doesn't look that impressive. I seem to remember seeing a much more effective one in a museum exhibit many years ago... (oh, it looks like there's a bunch of similar gadgets on this site)

maybe I'll have a sea angel instead

2008-12-18T12:11:00.002+01:00

hello, yes I am still alive. You might know that I like a bit of self-hypnosis/relaxation type stuff, partly because it's very pleasant and works on some levels but also it amuses me at how daft and preposterous a lot of this new age mumbo jumbo can be. I joined a newsletter of an online hypnotherapy guy just to have a listen to his free sample, and now it turns out that for the sum of $18.95 I can download 12 of his titles which would normally cost $1559.40 - wow what a saving. I'm trying to decide which ones would be most useful. So far I've selected the following:

overcome hives
stop compulsive lying
overcome fear of roaches
develop charisma
stop bad breath
avoid premature ejaculation
relieve herpes
unwanted hairgrowth (preventing it I presume)
improve poker playing
avoid smelly feet
dump them now

in 2009 I'm going to be such a fragrant, well-groomed, trustworthy and confident poker player who won't even be bothered by the cockroaches that once swarmed around my smelly feet - can't wait!

2008-11-14T18:54:00.002+01:00

according to John Lewis (the department store), the cool people are displaying their Christmas tree upside down this year. I thought it was a joke but it seems not. To be honest I don't really get it...

2008-10-27T00:15:00.002+01:00

for a while I've been thinking about writing a short story about a global superorganism and clearly I'm not the only person who's thought about it (and nor is he).... Having said that I spend a lot of time daydreaming about constructive and creative things I could do, and then never doing them....

2008-10-16T13:48:00.002+01:00

so that's how they distress jeans - I often wondered, though I daresay it's usually done by starving people in the developing world who have to work fifteen hours a day for 20p. What a lot of whingers in the comments section - personally I want my jeans to be at least a little bit distressed or it looks like you were dressed by your mum...

2008-10-13T23:43:00.002+01:00

I don't what the video is but this was one of my favourite songs which I recorded off the radio when I was about 13, from the american chart show on Radio 1 presented by Paul Gambaccini - who knew I was so soppy. His voice always reminds me of those times too. I only just rediscovered this song and it's amazing how much music can take you back to another time...

I bought the new Keane album today (which is good) and before I left the house to go to the shops I thought to myself in years to come when I listen to the album it will take me back to now, just like the previous albums take me back...

2008-10-09T23:18:00.003+01:00

here's something disgusting you can do with a banana. You'll see what I mean...

2008-09-26T00:42:00.004+01:00

I got a load of new plants for the fish tank today and it's looking might purty if I may say so myself. It is turning into a money pit but I've just got a few more things to get - I'm gonna make me a homemade CO2 reactor! I know it sounds like something from Malcolm in the Middle but it's basically just putting yeast and sugar solution in a coke bottle and then bubbling the gas into the tank. Apparently it does wonders for the plants and keeps them looking very lush and healthy. It's turning into quite a science project.

I think sickly fish is a bit better today but I'm not sure he's out of the woods yet - or if he's going to go the other way :(

2008-09-24T23:38:00.002+01:00

have a look at this clever animation made using LEDs and long-exposure photographs - it's surprisingly effective and cute too

in other news, one of my fish isn't feeling well. I hope I can save him. He's currently enjoying some fresh water in the ~~tupperware container~~ emergency ward. He was a bit of a runt anyway, all the others are full of energy. Maybe he's just a sickly child (a bit like me:P)

2008-09-20T02:22:00.008+01:00

finally I got fishies! These are chinese white cloud minnows which are supposed to be one of the easiest fish to look after. They don't need warm water and can survive in just about anything - though I intend to look after them well of course. They're used to living in fast-flowing streams and they seem to really enjoy racing up the stream of water coming out of the filter which I thought might be too strong but clearly isn't. I'd like to get some shrimp to go in the bottom of the tank but it's not easy to find the varieties that like cold water, but I'll keep looking.

wmode="transparent" data="http://komosa.brinkster.net/jetpack/flvplayer.swf?file=http://komosa.brinkster.net/jetpack/fishies.FLV&autoStart=true">

2008-09-12T15:48:00.002+01:00

I would probably never use a nintendo machine, but if I had one, I'd want one like this... Check out the very informative video too

(incidentally I hate XP service pack 3. It's turned a fast computer into a very slow one. I may just revert back)

2008-08-25T23:52:00.003+01:00

I wrote a review for Logitech Z4 2.1 speakers which should be posted on Amazon in a day or two. You lucky people can read it right here right now!

I was looking for some speakers for my desk which could provide a richer sound and also fill the room when I'm not sat at the desk. I'd been recommended the Logitech x-230 speakers and heard them for myself. I'd also seen the scores of rave reviews for them here on Amazon but I wondered if there might be a later model which improves on that design. A review I found on the net said that the Z4 speakers were slightly better and more detailed than the x-230 so decided to check them out. I've always been prejudiced against 2.1 systems with little satellite speakers expecting them to always sound harsh but having read all the rave reviews on here I decided it was worth the gamble especially when I found them at a bargain price. But, my prejudices were proved valid. You can get a nice rich and deep bass, far deeper and thumpier than is reasonable but at least with the Z4 you can set the bass to zero if you so desire. However the upper middle frequencies are very strident and the lower middle frequences somewhat lacking, resulting in a very unbalanced sound. You get deep bass, harsh upper middle and not much inbetween. Fortunately I had a graphic equaliser which I was able to put between the audio source and the speakers, allowing me to tame the worst of the harshness and create a smoother richer sound, however you can never fully compensate for the limitations of the speakers. As you move around the room the upper middle frequencies are always slightly too strident even if you get it sounding just right sitting in one spot. I can't help but wonder why Logitech didn't include a bit of circuitry to compensate for the harshness of the frequency output but maybe that would have made them too expensive for the target market of the Z4. The controls and extra line in are very handy and they have a very nice build quality. So yes, they are loud with no distortion and will fill the room with sound but if you're expecting a genuine hi-fi sound or even a vague approximation of one then I don't recommend these speakers. I know they don't claim to be audiophile speakers but reading some of the reviews on here you might be fooled into thinking they are.

Incidentally if you want some, get them here - only £38 delivered - bargain!

2008-08-24T11:53:00.003+01:00

here's an interesting article about a guy wanting to create art in his bathroom using coloured tiles - basically a mosaic but using conventional bathroom tiles. Personally I think the final result was a wasted opportunity but each to his own. I always wanted to create my own Gaudi-esque bathroom with the walls covered in broken tiles, pots and pieces of mirror and maybe even some organic lumps and bumps in plaster to hide all the straight edges of the fittings (probably not a lizard though). One day maybe...

long meandering post

2008-08-22T00:44:00.002+01:00

well let me tell you about my crazy day at the hospital. I felt terrible the day before and didn't get up till about 4pm and thought to myself, how am I going to manage tomorrow? Anyway I did get up early and got a taxi to the hospital for my appointment at 9:30 - for a CT scan on my kidneys. They saw me pretty much straight away even though I was early. I had to lay on the scanner (with my trousers pulled down a little - though they did cover me with a cloth to preserve my modesty) and then the bed lifted up and down a few times and then passed through the large humming doughnut. It was a bit disorientating and I could see some machinery spinning very fast around through a window that went around the hole and I tried not to imagine that it was the machinery that was still and the room which was spinning around. A recorded voice told me when to hold my breath and when to breathe normally a few times as the bed moved in and out. I was feeling a bit disorientated then a little male nurse appeared from nowhere saying he was going to inject me with some "contrast" and that it would make me feel "a blush" but it was nothing to worry about. I started to feel a bit queasy just thinking about it, imagining it was going to be a huge syringe of thick metal gloop. He put the needle and tube in my arm which was okay but I didn't realise that wasn't the actual injection. I was passed through the doughnut again and he appeared on the other side to inject the gloop. I was feeling quite queasy by now and said so but he told me to relax and not worry. The next thing I remember was waking up surrounded by three or four women and the nurse while I was still lying in the scanner and they're all asking me if I'm okay and what happened. I didn't know who they were or where I was for about five seconds and I felt too weak to talk either. Eventually I realised I'd passed out but still felt too weak to really move or say much. They were all talking away, describing what they saw and asking me why it happened. A doctor joined the throng who asked all the same questions again and I couldn't really give them an answer. I told them I felt a bit sick so they hurriedly put a sickbowl on my chest, then 10 seconds later I spewed up but a lot of it when all down my new white tshirt. Sorry if this is grossing you out but I've hardly started. Eventually I felt able to get up and they helped me off the bed and I took my tshirt off and put on the zip-up sweatshirt which fortunately I had taken off and was still clean. They said they wouldn't continue with the scan and they may be able to use the pictures they already took before the contrast injection, and that there were stones visible in my pelvis (which sounds kind of vague - where in my pelvis? just rolling around, bouncing off my hipbones?)

Anyway, I hobbled outside feeling a bit lightheaded and someone went off to find me a bed to lie on and was told to sit in the chair in the corridor. There were 4 or 5 old folks sitting on trolleys probably waiting to be taken somewhere. I had only just sat down and I said to the lady who led me outside I was feeling a bit faint. Next thing I know I wake up on the cold hard floor in the recovery position again surrounded by nurses and two doctors, again bombarding me with questions and telling me not to move. I felt too weak to talk let alone move. One of the nurses was being really jolly and saying "oh I have this effect on men" I think she said it about 5 times during the whole drama, to anyone who came past. The doctor was saying "I think it's just a vaso-vagal" or something like that and was asking me if I had someone could come and get me. There really wasn't anyone in Cambridge that I knew with a car that could come and collect me right then. He said "is there any family, anyone from work, who do you live with?" etc. He asked me several times but all I managed to say was "no there really isn't anyone" and he told me I couldn't leave on my own as it could happen again and I could fall and kill myself very easily. A nurse said let's get you off that cold floor it can't be comfortable and I thought to myself actually it's very refreshing. Anyway they slowly helped me up onto a trolley and had a discussion on where to put me. Eventually they decided to take me to the neighbouring ward which I think was neurology, and I was wheeled away around lots of corridors and in a lift. Eventually I arrived and was left in empty bay, while numerous nurses came in and chatted to me. I remember one was a very nice australian one who was gave me a long speech about how I mustn't feel silly or worried and that she gets freaked out by the dentist etc. I would have like to chat more but just couldn't find the energy and I wasn't sure if I was fully conscious or not, it was all a bit of a blur. There was a very sweet nurse who stayed with me a lot of the time and put a blanket on me when I started to shiver. I think she was called Cheryl.

Anywayyyyyy, I think I was there about half an hour then they decided to take me to A&E where there would be people who could keep an eye on me and check me over. So I was wheeled off again, down numerous corridors, another trip in the lift, swung round many times, until I felt very seasick. I was parked in a corridor and Cheryl waited with me. I told her I was feeling sick again and so she went to find a sickbowl but came back without one. I told her "i'm feeling very sick now" and then spewed up a whole lot more, across the corridor just in front of someone who was walking past. I think he was a doctor. He looked at me and said " god, are you alright?" - kind of a silly question but what else do you say when someone spews in your direction... Cheryl held the blanket over my face while I spewed and spewed and it was now all down my sweatshirt too. I said sorry for making a mess and she said don't worry it's easily cleaned up. The other nurse came back and they wheeled me down the corridor and into A&E. The nurses there, took some blood for testing, gave me an ECG and numerous other tests. Then I had a drip in my other arm, so that was the third time I'd had needles put in me. At least a bag of clear saline didn't make me feel so queasy as a syringe of "contrast". So I laid there for several hours in a daze, occasionally answering questions of the nurses and registrar. Behind a curtain next to me, a very distressed traveller girl demanding morphine was wheeled in and demanded her husband to be brought. Then lots of brothers and sisters came too and I got to hear them all talking in their husky voices - I think it was pancreatis she had. Once the drip was empty, the doc said someone would come and take it out and then I could go home. I felt a bit stronger and was able to hobble to the loo in my gown and carrying the drip. I got off the bed and asked a nurse for some tissues to see if I could clean up my clothes enough to actually put them on, but they offered me a clean t-shirt which was a huge relief. It was actually a good fit and I shall definitely keep it as a souvenir. It's navy and has "saffron walden carnival" on the front and a picture of a funny leprachaun type person, even though saffron walden isn't in Ireland, it's in Suffolk... They keep clothes that are left behind in A&E to give to people that need them so it could have been a floral dress if I was really unlucky. It was now about 2:30. I hobbled outside and a few people stared as I had plasters all over my arms from the needles and the wristband still on. I called a taxi and a very friendly guy picked me up. He was very chatty and because I was still feeling queasy I was thinking "Please don't talk to me please don't talk to me". I thought I was going to pass out again and wondering what the hell I was going to do and if I should warn him. Fortunately I had the good sense to bring one of the paper sickbowls with me so when I was sick again I was able to use that. I apologised and he said it was okay and that most people don't come prepared. It can't have been nice driving and then hearing someone heaving up in the back. Anyway he got me home and finally I could get into my own bed. I slept for a couple of hours and when I woke up I thought "did I dream all that or did it really happen?!" The wristband was by the bed and I still had one of the sticky ECG things on me so yes it did. The whole thing was very surreal, and so silly considering I only went there for a harmless CT scan. Everyone was so nice and encouraging and sympathetic. I can kind of understand how some people become hypochondriacs or develop munchausen syndrome in a bid to get that kind of treatment all the time - but don't worry I don't plan on it. I think hospitals just make me queasy anyway....

what a crazy day eh. I still feel a bit sick and lightheaded but I think it's passing - it had better do...

2008-08-18T21:29:00.003+01:00

Listening to music can give your immune system a boost and may help fight off disease, researchers have discovered. - That's good to know, I wonder how much worse my health problems would be without music though I know I'd be miserable without it which I guess can't be good for you. Incidentally I'm having a CT scan of my kidneys on Wednesday which should be fun then possibly the insertion of a camera crew into my bladder which definitely won't be (fun). Perhaps if they play some happy hardcore at full volume I won't feel a thing

2008-08-05T13:20:00.000+01:00

cutest pets evah!

2008-08-04T01:37:00.001+01:00

finally some actual useful ideas of what to do with empty CD boxes

Recycle CD Box

2008-08-03T18:02:00.000+01:00

'If a man belittles a woman, it could become a lawsuit.... If women belittle men, it's a Hallmark card.' - so true

2008-08-01T01:45:00.004+01:00

I've been on a crazy spending spree lately, and it's not like I'm rich or anything. I did get £85 cashback on my mobile phone contract but that was kind of accounted for - not now though. Never mind, I got some real bargains and I can absorb the cost provided I'm careful from now on.

First of all, I got a 6" desk fan from Currys. I'm glad it's still warm and stuffy so at least I get to use it before next summer. I often thought about getting one but always decided the weather would change as soon as I did and I wouldn't get to use it. It ain't bad and was only £7 delivered to the door. The only concession to cheapness is that the controls are on the back of the fan actually on the motor, rather than having buttons and wires routed through the base but that's a small price to pay for such a... small price. I've got it on now and it's luvly.

Then I got (another) mp3 player. I've already got loads of cheap mp3 players which I bought just because they were quirky and retro and obsolete and hated to see them go unappreciated. Fortunately they cost very little. A few weeks ago I got this great little thing called the Pontis SP600 which has two card slots and even plays games like tetris and breakout etc on the little LCD screen.

There seem to be a lot of enthusiastic users on the net from when it came out a few years back (was quite expensive then I think, over £100). I got it brand new boxed for £3 - yay!

Anyway, my latest purchase is an 8gb mp3 player from Play.com.

I haven't actually received it yet but looking forward to it. It's only a very basic no frills player which takes one AAA battery but the capacity is amazing so it's going to be like a jukebox with loads of similar stuff on it and set to play randomly. More like a radio station than a jukebox then I guess. I hope it has a shuffle feature! If not, I'm sure I'll find another use for it...

It doesn't end there. I also bought a new digital camera. I don't really need one right now as I rarely go anywhere that warrants taking pictures though I daresay it will encourage me to think a bit more creatively now. My old camera was a MASSIVE 1.3 megapixels and cost a lot of money - but I was an early adopter. It's still good for taking photos to put online, ebay etc as it takes very clear photos unlike a lot of camera-phones. It's just no good for prints (unless they're passport size of course). Anyway I got a great deal on a Samsung Camera. I was drawn to it initially because of it's retro styling but when I saw it was 8 megapixels and 5x optical zoom for £58 to your door I couldn't resist. I notice it's still listed on Amazon for £299 and has pretty good reviews on the net. It's also packed with features so you can use it as a point and shoot or use all the technical SLR-type settings. I may have to learn a bit about what they all mean.... I've had a play with it and the results are amazingly clear and sharp.

Finally, I've always wanted an aquarium but never had the money or space. Now I have the space and I managed to get one for free. There's a guest house ten minutes walk from here and on my way back from the shops I saw a slightly (but superficially) grubby aquarium with it's stand relegated to the end of the drive for someone to take away. (It had a few bits of neon pink gravel left in the bottom - I can just picture the guests in the dining room tucking into their full english breakfast with that tasteless thing glugging away in the corner). I had to take my shopping home first but hurried back before it was gone then lugged it home, bruising myself badly in the process and exhausting myself for 2days afterwards but hopefully it will have been worth the pain. My housemate said to me "what are you going to do with it?" so I said "er, put fish in it?". If I was quicker and more facetious I could probably have come up with something funnier. Anyway he says I need to get permission as we're not allowed pets here. I always took that to mean cats and dogs who could scratch the furnishings and leave crap and fur on the carpet. I don't think fish are going to jump out and leave their smelly scales everywhere and nibble on the sofa cushions. I will get permission anyway which shouldn't be too hard considering I met the landlady last week and she's very sweet and friendly. I can't decide to go for the low maintenance option of drab, cold water fish or the more demanding exotic tropical fish. Considering it has a light and filter to run it may as well have a heater as well. I wonder if there's somewhere online you can get cheap clownfish posted to you in a jiffybag....

2008-07-29T15:28:00.002+01:00

I started a new topic in the forums at Men's Health Magazine, then wondered if I should have resisted (for the sake of my blood pressure), but I clicked the submit button and it was too late....

2008-07-07T23:12:00.002+01:00

that's weird, spotting this article shortly after eating a lot of watermelon. I chose the biggest one in the shop and then regretted it but didn't want it to go to waste. I didn't notice any unusual effects from eating the watermelon but that's probably a good thing...

2008-06-17T16:04:00.002+01:00

oops, it seems I've been given a female brain*. Ah well, at least my hemispheres match.

(*deliberate oversimplification by me for poetic license)

I did one of those surveys a few years back which supposedly tests you for male and female thinking traits. I scored quite a high female score for language etc but also a high male score for spatial awareness-type thinking... which was nice. A quick google has located the survey here. Maybe I'll try it again soon. I'd do it tonight but I'm washing my hair.

2008-06-01T08:50:00.002+01:00

did you know that if you do a fresh install of XP on a hard disk and then connect your old hard disk as a slave, there's quite a good probability that the slave disk will suddenly become unreadable. It sounds unlikely I know but yesterday it happened to me and judging by Google it happens to a lot of people. I backed up a lot of things because I needed the space but the most critical things (ie. all the music I've been working on this year and a lot of the sounds) are lost. It's my fault for not backing up the valuable stuff but I never imagined that 80gb of data can just vanish in a second, or if it did you were extremely unlucky. I've tried about three data recovery programs which a lot of people seem to find helpful with absolutely no results. I do have another one which seems to be very sensitive but it so slow that after 6 hours it's still only scanned about 1% of the disk and seems to get slower and slower. I may just have to accept that all that stuff is gone and start anew....

2008-05-30T02:54:00.002+01:00

maybe you've been spammed about it already, but CDbaby who sell my CDs and organise digital distribution are doing a promotion with a new download site called amiestreet.com where you can download tracks from one of my albums. Presumably my most recent album will be added too at some stage. The tracks start off free and go up to $0.98 the more people download them. You get $5 free to spend (on any artist!) when you sign up via this link.

It is legit. I signed up myself. All you have to do is provide a username and password and then start downloading. I found a bunch of albums that I'd wanted for ages for about a dollar each. It helps if you have obscure taste as they don't have much mainstream stuff, and if you do want something they've got hopefully the price is still very low...

2008-05-29T21:03:00.003+01:00

random phone pics

2008-05-29T20:20:00.003+01:00

londonpreppy has written a funny post about Gay Times (the magazine). Once upon a time it used to be kind of middle-brow and not all about fashion and pop music and holidays and hunks. I've not looked at a copy for years but last time I did it was pretty much the same as Attitude which I don't think ever set out to be anything but shallow. I think it's a bit rich though dissing Gay Times for perpetuating such stereotypes when you have blog that is mostly about fashion, clubbing, gym and is peppered with a million generic bare torso pics (like a photostudy of a bargain bin full of naked barbies and action men in the charity shop)

2008-05-27T15:10:00.002+01:00

did you see the "life after humans" programme on TV last night? (I didn't but I got my fancy, bargain-priced PVR to record it for me.) There's a damning review of it in the Guardian today - the programme that is, not my PVR.

Even without having seen it, it does provoke some interesting questions, such as why are there books and programmes about this now, and what does it say about our commitment to save the planet or our resignation that we're all going to hell in a handbasket? I do like the idea of living in a post-apocalyptic world where civilisation is taken over by nature (with certain conditions of course) but being a human myself I would not exist in that scenario, which kind of begs the question asked by some of the commenters of that article: is any existence meaningful without humans there to perceive it? I'm sure a lot of animals are conscious but I don't imagine any of them have intellect or are able to ponder the meaning or beauty of anything.

Personally, and this is probably coming from a Christian perspective, I think that people are the only meaningful thing in existence. If everything existed without us then it would be no different from a completely theoretical universe that exists only in a computer programme. With noone and nothing there to appreciate or experience it, then the difference between existing and not existing is moot. It reminds me of Richard Dawkins saying that one day human life will die out and it will be a shame that so much civilisation and art will be lost, but if there aren't any people why does it matter? there won't be anyone around to care (and if human life is just a random accident with no inherent meaning or value (as he would argue) then nothing really matters anyway if we exist or not - but that's a whole other can or worms). Do you know what, this is the kind of thing I spend a lot of time thinking about. Maybe I should write a book about it....

2008-05-27T02:33:00.001+01:00

I've just been reading a blog called londonpreppy and I can hardly believe it's not a creative writing project. It even says at the top "Is it all fact, is it fiction, who the fuck knows". It reads so much like a book by Bret Easton Ellis* (from what I remember) e.g. American Psycho etc (though that's not one I ever read or ever plan to). Here's an example of the kind of cynical and detailed observation about people, taken from the blog:

"This is a song from the Muppet Show, as performed by a little frog called Robin, who (wikipedia tells me) posed as Kermit’s nephew in later episodes. I don’t really care for children’s shows and neither do I have an interest in talking about what I used to watch when I was six like many English boys in their late 20s like to do in a faux-ironic way trying to find things in common with new acquaintances. In fact it really irritates me.... I like this song so much that I’m willing to claim that it’s the best song ever performed by a lifeless puppet – even though I do have a soft spot for Love At First Sight by Kylie Minogue as well. Robin tells us that “all sorts of funny thoughts run round my head”, his step “isn’t really anywhere, it’s somewhere else instead” and “I’m not at the bottom, I’m not at the top, so this is the step where I always stop”. I don’t know what existential angst is because I’m stupid, but if I were to make a video about it, I’d use this as the soundtrack.

Do you see what I mean? or maybe it's just that sort of cynical world-weary (and very gay) stream-of-consciousness blablabla thing that I used to be into when I was about 18...

*if you visit that blog you might notice that he has a Bret Easton Ellis tattoo and presumably has read and internalised a lot of those books. It seems he even has his own Wikipedia page. I guess I'm a bit late to the party, probably because I don't live in London and am not part of that whole metrosexual scene (thank goodness)

I haven't felt like blogging for a while as you may have noticed. In fact I'm surprised if anyone does actually notice, it's been that long. I've had a few weeks of feeling terrible and even though I'm not depressed about anything, in fact my outlook is characteristically upbeat, it has left me feeling very numb and introspective in the way that post-viral depression often does. If I didn't know myself better I'd be worried but seeing as even having a cold makes me feel blue for days afterwards I guess it's par for the course....

2008-04-08T15:19:00.003+01:00

you may remember that I have a compulsion for buying generic mp3 players and assorted audio/visual devices (bought a few more since our last meeting). Well, there are millions of options for docking speakers to use at home with your mp3 player. I decided to opt for this one. It will look so tasteful and discreet in the corner of the room...

2008-03-31T21:03:00.005+01:00

I have a Myspace page for my music (it's seems to be a necessary evil these days, even though Myspace is ugly and uncool as hell). Everytime I log in, I'm entranced by an ad for a dating site. Here's the video file which I stole from the ad in question:

kinda cute ain't he? a bit like Ben Affleck but with a bigger chin. I think you're supposed to imagine that you're chatting with him on webcam, and if you join the dating site maybe you can persuade him to do cam-sex... or maybe that's just me. I did find a long discussion about the guy who is apparently an actor in NYC but I don't remember what the site was and Google is no help.... ho hum

2008-03-26T13:42:00.002+01:00

this is funny - massive man-mountain Mariusz Pudzianowski dancing on a game show to "wake me up before you go-go". He's pretty sexy I think, and a good sport too.

2008-03-23T01:03:00.002+01:00

who remembers this song? I've loved it all these years. I still have the 7" single (with a great remix on the b-side) and I just got the album on CD for next to nothing. The video looks like an ad for hair products but that's the 80s for you...

if you liked that you might enjoy this and this too

2008-03-22T00:24:00.002+01:00

guess what, I got wares (not warez).

You can buy (and preview) my new cd here

or if you have iTunes you can download it here.

You can also buy prints of my paintings from here. Yay! I'm such a renaissance man

2008-03-20T11:11:00.001+01:00

well I've been living in the cat's home for about a week now. It's quite nice but a bit cramped. I'm sharing an enclosure with a large tortoiseshell called Queenie and her kittens. They're very cute but obviously this place wasn't intended for humans as well. You should see the looks on the faces of the people who come to adopt a cat when they see me sitting in the corner, unshaven, in my dressing gown. I just ignore them now. I don't get much time to use the internet but Sandra lets me use the computer in the office for 20 minutes each evening while she gets ready to lock up. I'll let you know when I find a proper place to live.

2008-02-28T23:45:00.002+01:00

Here's a video made by my Russian fan Valentin and his girlfriend doing some latenight work in a beauty salon. Music is by yours truly. I think it goes well!

2008-02-28T01:46:00.002+01:00

It's a very strange time for me at the moment. The house is nearly empty. Mr Argentina went home last night and I actually miss him quite a lot more than I probably should (we did have a nice hug though). I'll really miss seeing him at the end of every day and having a chat over dinner and watching Friends each night (his taste in TV shows is not that sophisticated considering he'll be a professor very soon at the age of 30). It's the end of a (pretty short) era. Laura Ashley has moved out most of her stuff and will be gone in a few days. Then on Saturday I'll be moving out too. I just hope the stuff I've got left will fit into mummy and daddy's people carrier - and that the letting agency who are so eager to take my money will finally tell me I can move into the nice place round the corner next month. I still don't know for sure where I'm going to be living though I'm surprisingly calm about it. I hope kittycat comes by to say goodbye.

2008-02-22T23:20:00.002+01:00

I'm so 1978 right now - this is my favourite record at the moment. I had the cd sent from the US (for £5 less than getting it from this side of the pond)

I'm surprised this record hasn't been ripped off by Daft Punk already like all those dozens of others they nicked.

I've often thought that there's such a huge legacy of pop and rock music nowadays that there are probably whole genres which I've never appreciated and which are just waiting for my delectation. Well thanks to the cornucopia provided by Screamer radio I'm pretty keen on Progrock radio now, and bought quite a few cds of obscure bands I've never heard of and would never see on MTV or Channel 4, and I get a bit of a kick out of the fact that it's so untrendy and non-contemporary. I suspect I'm turning into an old fart.

2008-02-15T04:55:00.005+01:00

most of this year has been preoccupied with finding a new place to live, cycling around in the pitch dark and cold, trying to read house-numbers and generally agonising over the whole depressing process. Fortunately I found a great place just in the area in which I wanted to stay (just around the corner really). The people are really nice and they seemed to like me too. However the ~~scumbag~~ letting agency are now giving me an ulcer. Seeing as I have the dirty secret of ~~having leprosy~~ being unable to work and depending on housing benefit and DSS benefits, this makes me far less easy to home. I've given them all the details of my income which are more than adequate to cover the very low rent, which is less than I'm currently paying. I could pay the rent they require twice over and have some money left, but they say I can't afford it (they don't seem to understand that housing benefit is calculated in such a way as to ensure you can afford to pay whatever your rent is, provided it's a reasonable amount and you don't require numerous extra rooms). This is presumably because most of their clients need an extra 500 pounds a month to spend on cars and holidays and champagne, which of course I don't. So it seems quite likely that I'm suddenly going to be homeless again because of some silly mathematical formula that states that I can't afford the lifestyle to which we all should be aspiring. Grrrr! I'm going to try the cat's home...

I'm going to miss the regular visits from miss Kitty Cat (ain't she pretty?)

by the way, I tried again to get my stuff printed at Staples. They didn't reply to my email or return my call as promised, and still took four days to tell me they can't figure out how to do it right. Oh dear. I can't believe their complete crapness... Fortunately a friend of a friend is a printer (an Epson I think) so he's currently trying to sort me out (so to speak)

2008-02-08T11:32:00.001+01:00

you know how annoying it is when you get greasy marks on your computer screen, especially with TFT monitors. I find that I wipe one away and it just leaves a bigger one. Anyway, here's a site that finally has the solution - yay!

2008-02-08T10:42:00.001+01:00

just after Christmas I finished my new CD, I paid to set it up on CDbaby and Itunes and get a UPS (barcode) and got some very nice looking discs printed. That just left the artwork to get done before I post off the CDs to the US to sell in the CDbaby store. So I spent a few days designing the artwork on the computer and finally decided on a finished design with all the right dimensions and dots per inch etc and I just needed to get it printed. So I took the files to my handy Staples store just down the road. I was eventually served by a girl who was so frustratingly timid and slow it was like giving instructions to a mouse who had been nibbling on Valium. Anyway, I managed not to lose my patience and showed her the mock-up which I'd printed on my inkjet printer of exactly what I wanted, just so she'd know exactly how it should look. I recklessly decided to opt for the expensive heavy glossy paper which I later calculated was going to work out at £1.60 per CD just in paper (a bit hasty methinks). I went back a few hours later to collect them and the manager handed me a big wodge of very slick shiny prints but with all the dimensions completely wrong - they obviously didn't even look at my mock-up or if they did they must be a bit thick. The CD inlays looked more like 7 inch recordsleeves - doh. He said "that's £16 please, are they ok?" so I said "erm, no they're completely wrong and I can't use them". I showed him my mock up and pointed out that the pictures had not been printed at 100% scale but had been stretched to fit the page. He shrugged and said "sorry mate, we'll do it again for you". I didn't have the digital files on me so said I'd come back. The next day I decided there must be an easier way than trying to explain to Staples employees how to print things correctly so found a place online that does disc duplication as well as print the artwork and have it all cut ready for insertion into a cd case. I emailed them saying I didn't need the discs just the artwork and they sent me back a quote which was very good and much cheaper than Staples. So the next day I emailed them the artwork and a few days later I got a cd case in the post with a sample of the finished artwork just to make sure that I was happy with it. The finish was great but (unlike the printing from Staples) the colours were not quite right, there was a slight pink hue to everything. I know how tricky it can be to get the levels of red, green and blue just right so emailed them back saying if they could just fix the slight colour problem I'd gladly send them payment in advance of them actually doing the printing. I got an email back with words to the effect of "sorry, we're not going to calibrate our printers just for you, if you don't like the sample then we can't help". So, I can't help but wonder what exactly was the purpose of them sending me the sample if they had no intention of taking on board my criticisms and ensuring my satisfaction. And also I wasn't asking for special treatment and for the printers to be calibrated specially, but to be calibrated correctly - I'm sure their other customers would appreciate it too. So I decided they were a lost cause. I did find another place that did disc duplication and artwork but when I asked for a quote it worked out at over £5 per disc, just for the paper! Hmmm, how do they make a profit. So I decided to go back to Staples seeing as the finish was so nice and the colours just right, and the fact that plain paper lasercopies are currently only 29p each. I took back my mock-up and explained to a different girl that the artwork has to be printed exactly the way it is. She took away my data cd and said she'd do a test print. She brought over a sheet and said "I don't think it's the right size" - which is wasn't. So I said "can't you just print it at 100%, the specified size of the actual image files - it's very simple" and she said "well no, the software is very basic and only has two settings. There's a wizard which only allows us to print something to fill a whole page or half a page". So basically their computer decides on some arbitrary size and prints it at that size no matter what and you have no say in the matter. I felt like saying "can I come over that side of the counter and do it myself?" Can you believe it? I think it's mind-boggling that they can't do a simple printing job like that... Anyway, in an attempt to finally get this bloody artwork printed, I've tried creating some A4 sized jpegs with the artwork sized just right in the middle so hopefully if they print them on A4 paper then the cd artwork just may come out the right size to fit in a cd case - but I'm not counting on it. I think in the future I shall do all the artwork myself with a marker pen and a rubber stamp...

2008-02-03T14:58:00.000+01:00

sorry, couldn't help it:

2008-02-02T22:06:00.001+01:00

well I've seen some nice places, and another one tomorrow hopefully, so I'm hoping that I'll actually be offered one of them above all the inevitable dozens of other applicants for each room. One place I went to had about 5 people show up to the view the place at the same time and I met another one on the way out. I told him it was like Picaddily circus in there and he said he'd come back later. Also it's kind of awkward when you're having a conversation about the suitability/affordability of the room when there are several "competitors" standing right there listening to your every word. I felt sorry for the current tenants whose landlady was sending all these people round at the same time...

Gumtree.com is a great place to find rooms for rent though there's a paysite called easyroommate.com who are spamming the boards and placing bogus ads which simply redirect you to their site when you make an enquiry about the place - cheeky eh. I might send them some rude emails. I wish there was a forum where I could expose them for their terrible netiquette. At least I can moan about it on here.

2008-01-27T21:15:00.001+01:00

after quite a lot of upheaval and angst in the latter part of 2007 I finally started to feel comfortable in my new home in a shared house. We got a new housemate and all felt pretty at home together, so you can imagine how annoyed and upset I was to find out at Christmas time that our landlady might want us out - the reason being that the letting agency have neglected the place so much, and so she wants the house fixed up good and proper and then have only two tenants from then, on instead of three (which would make the rent unaffordable to the likes of me). The letting agency refused to give me her contact details, saying it was "confidential" even though it's an offense to withold such information from a tenant (what a surprise), but I managed to track her down on the internet by remembering a little bit about her. She had to come all the way from California to come and see the house and speak to us, all because the crappy cowboy agency couldn't be bothered to return her calls or emails in order to let her know if any of the maintenance jobs were actually being done. Anyway, we met her and made our pleas to let us stay for the rest of the year at which point we'd probably all be ready to move out. She said she'd think about it, but after we'd had a visit from a builder and surveyor (who showed up unannounced of course) she decided to give us notice and we've all got to get out. So I don't know where I'm going to be living in just over a month's time. One of my housemates is going back to Argentina and the other one has just found somewhere to go, which leaves me. It's likely I will find somewhere before a month is up but it is a worry especially as there is so much competition for places in Cambridge and the standard is generally pretty low seeing as the demand is so high... It feels so comfortable here with my housemates that it's hard to believe that it'll all be over in a few weeks and I'll be like a fish out of water again. Still, I'm telling myself (or trying at least, not always successfully) that I'll find somewhere even nicer and it's all a big adventure, like being in the big brother house!

I'm kind of hoping that the letting agency will send round some more unannounced workmen or builders and I'll say "sorry, did we have an appointment? - seeya!"

update: I had appointments to see two places, both of which have been taken before the day even arrived >;(

2008-01-25T17:42:00.000+01:00

here's a funny ad. I didn't like it at all till about 90% through then it made me laugh out loud and I had to keep replaying that bit (the bit that goes pffft). After the ad there's a game to play as well though I didn't try it...

2008-01-19T16:43:00.000+01:00

I remember mixtapes fondly and they're not necessarily a thing of the past thanks to this gadget (though £18 for a 64mb USB stick seems a bit steep. You could get a cheap one and just put it in an old cassette box - if you can still find one without having been written all over)

more designs here

2008-01-18T13:47:00.000+01:00

Interesting article in the Guardian:

Owning too much stuff drives us into a spiral of sadness, says a new book. Or is the real problem "misery-creep", where everyday unhappiness is being rebranded as depression?

My view is that a certain amount of hardship and striving is essential to keep us motivated and stimulated and therefore happy. When your standard of living means you can have all the cars and plasma screens and bling that you want, your whole reason for living can vanish like a mirage leaving you with the realisation that your life is empty and you just own a lot of stuff that in the big scheme of things has no value. It's been shown that lottery winners are no happier after a few months of their win, and quite often are much less happy because they've given up their old lifestyle and with it, their more realistic expectations and aspirations. It reminds me of when I was a kid and I had to save every penny to buy an expensive record from my local vinyl emporium a few times a year and boy, did I treasure them and squeeze out every last bit of enjoyment from them. Nowadays I can get just about any album I want for peanuts on ebay and so I don't really appreciate them (even though I go on buying them, desperately trying to compensate for all those years of coveting the unaffordable) and I kind of wish I could get back that excitement and enjoyment that I had during the lean years... To be honest I don't have much sympathy for majority of people that hit the mall every weekend like a swarm of locusts and then wonder why their self-centred consumerist lifestyles don't make them happy. Also I think it's a fact of life that no matter what your circumstances you can never avoid a certain amount of unhappiness or misery (into every life a little rain must fall etc.) so at least that's keeps us from getting too above ourselves - though it seems that some people think they're suffering from mental illness just because they're not as happy as they erroneously think they deserve to be in the 21st century....

that's the world put to rights again

2008-01-10T22:29:00.001+01:00

the contract on my mobile phone is now up and I've had to get a new one for £12.50 a month (after cashback) rather than continue with the current one for £35 a month (no more cashback). It's crazy really, I'd like to keep the old handset and keep paying what I have for the last year but it seems it's not possible. The world has to have yet another handset born into it and a new contract must be entered into, along with all the complications and calls to Delhi.... ho hum. Anyway, I downloaded my address book and crappy photos from my soon-to-be-obsolete handset and a few random shots are presented here in all their lo-res cruddiness for your delectation.

2008-01-08T01:12:00.000+01:00

oh look, Jason Statham has got a new film out, called In the name of the king and very attractive he looks in it too (as always). You only have to take one look at the trailer though to see it's more or less an imitation of Lord of the Rings and looks as if it was made by the exact same people (who I read a while back, strangely didn't get the job of making the movie of the Hobbit). Most of the shots look like they were lifted straight from those films. I did really enjoy Lord of the Rings at first but by the end of the third movie I was completely weary of it, and never wanted to hear that theme tune ever again (there are only so many times you can find it "stirring" or feel empathy for scared blubbing hobbits). Still I guess there are fans out there desperate for a fix of something similar...

2008-01-02T21:13:00.000+01:00

Have you seen what's happened to Craig David? He always made me cringe (and Avid Merrion's parody didn't help), but when I saw his new video I thought wow is that really him?! He looks FIT - (though unfortunately he does look remarkably like a young O.J.Simpson). While browsing through his videos I came across this one and had to get it from iTunes straight away. The grime-style rapping is not my thing but the chorus is so catchy and Mr David looks cool as a cucumber!

2007-12-30T16:53:00.000+01:00

Most of my Christmas presents this year came from my Amazon wishlist, one of which was a DVD of Sunshine which I'd been eager to see since it came out. Unfortunately I can only describe it as depressing and disappointing. It's all very slickly done with great production values, but the story is kind of implausible, it's pretty derivative of other movies like Event Horizon and Solaris and the overriding mood of the film is uncomfortably morbid. I'm glad I saw it but hand on heart, I couldn't say it was enjoyable. I thought it might be improved by Chris Evans showing some flesh but I guess as it's trying to be a super-serious film that wasn't really going to happen. Ah well. Here are some observations that another reviewer made about the film which I thought were pretty spot-on....

2007-12-08T04:09:00.000+01:00

I've been catsitting for the last ten days at my parents' place. As you may remember our cat was run over earlier this year, but my nan has been in hospital recently so her cat is staying with my folks and he needed looking after while they were away on the trip. He's 18 years old and the feline equivalent of a doddery old man in a home who has his dinner (mashed up because he has no teeth), shuffles about for 10 minutes twice a day and then sleeps in his chair the rest of the time. He's quite sweet though and I think he's enjoyed having me look after him. It's just a shame about the toilet mishaps - that'll teach me for moving the litter tray...

There was a drama while the folks were away. I let in a very distressed teenage girl who I thought had been attacked but it turns out she had run away from her sixth foster home (for the third time) and was clearly mixed and babbling about some boy that she hasn't seen for a year. I think she expected me to take her in or drive her across the country to find this person who she thought was the answer to all her problems. Anyway a call to social services was useless because they couldn't find her on their books as she's just moved here from another county, so they advised calling the police. The police were next to no help. I spoke to a very blunt man who said "she's seventeen, she can do what she wants, we're not a taxi service etc." Eventually I convinced them something had to be done and a woman called me back saying "I understand you have a problem with your girlfriend" - Doh! Anyway after a long explanation she said she could send someone round in 90 mins time and was I happy to look after her till then, so I said no, not really! I was worried what she might do. She could steal something when I left the room or pull a knife on me, or later claim that I tried to touch her or something. About 30 mins later the police called back saying she'd been reported missing and her fosterparents were coming round to collect her, which is not really what I wanted as she'd been ranting about she can't go back to them because they don't understand her etc. I didn't know how she'd react when they showed up to get her. Well, eventually they did show up after what seemed like an eternity even though they live in the same road, and the girl hid in the kitchen and refused to come out for a while. Then she ran out and asked if she could hide upstairs. I said no it's not my house. The fosterparents gave her a stern talking to and said that if she didn't want to stay with them she could go somewhere else that night to somewhere else provided by social services. The dad asked me if she was here on Sunday, apparently she's done this several times, and it sounds like people have even let her stay the night. It was all pretty scary and I felt like a bit of a fool for getting sucked in and letting her into a house which is not even my own. It sounds like something out of Home and Away except in that she'd be a model citizen within 5 minutes and serving sandwiches in the local diner in no time. I do feel bad for her though, she was very polite and apologetic at all times and I wonder what's going to happen to her. I was pretty stressed out as you can imagine, all this took hours and I was exhausted by the end of it so went straight to bed!

2007-11-27T07:01:00.000+01:00

what was that filthy video for the huge dance hit, where there was an aerobics class that was virtually pornographic? I have a terrible memory for names these days...anyway I'm sure you know the one I mean. Well, here's a better version, and it's actually safe for work!

2007-11-25T23:50:00.000+01:00

....so I'm sat on the sofa watching telly alongside my slightly annoyingly prim, straightlaced female housemate (ex-cambridge, violin-playing, rugby-watching, national-trust-visiting, very parochial bourgeois values imho etc etc) and there's a trailer for a prog on Ch4 called Secret Millionaire in which a rich person goes undercover to find a deserving person or persons to receive a big fat cheque and have their lives transformed for the better. Anyway the voice over says something like "He has to leave behind his designer clothes and his husband..." and you see two guys hugging goodbye, and she says "husband?!" in quite an alarmed way. So I say, "well, you know, he means his partner of course" and she goes "hmmmm" in a way that sounded kind of disapproving. Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions but I'm curious as to what she meant by that. It did make my heart race in anticipation of fight about something I feel very strongly about, but I didn't say anything. I think I'll leave that can of worms unopened for now. I just wish I had a husband or engagement to announce just to see her face....

2007-11-09T00:34:00.001+01:00

I've never heard of Colton Ford but according to DNA magazine he's a gay porn star who has made a record. He should do a duet with Francois Sagat. He's trés sexy of course though the music production is kind of amateurish. The song's not so bad and he can actually sing. I'm not sure he makes a very credible popstar though, especially considering the videos!

It seems there's a movie about his music career too...

2007-10-26T02:01:00.000+01:00

"Before listening the album, I expected it would be a good album, but honestly, after listening several times i realized it wasn't a good album but a MASTERPIECE. "

"To sum up what I really think of the album: I only paid Â£5 for the download and now I wish I paid much much more. "

"probably one of the most elegaic, heartachingly pieces of music put out there for the listening public in eons"

"WOW .. this album is getting ever more beautiful with every listen . I'm mesmerized. "

"Concise, pure, beautiful, minimalist, perfect, genius. "

after reading quite a lot of negative or indifferent views of the new Radiohead album, it seems all the best comments were saved for this page. Incidentally the jetpack verdict is "pretty good". Even if I didn't like it, I think it's great that nowadays when music is so ubiquitous and slick and undervalued, there are still serious artists that can really create a sensation (and I don't mean coke-snorting dollybirds in the tabloids).

2007-10-25T08:54:00.000+01:00

in case anyone's interested, I've uploaded a new track of mine for the delectation of internet users. You can access it here

2007-10-21T03:52:00.000+01:00

apparently I'm a "casual gamer" which means I like "casual games" that don't require lots of practice and manual-reading in order to play. Cutesy bubblegum graphics are always a bonus too. It seems there are loads of free flash games online now. My faves at the moment are:

Crystal Clear (I got to level 14 on this a few nights ago which took a few hours, though I wish I'd known you can disable the music)

Jellyblocks (I'm currently stuck on level 35 - fortunately it remembers which levels you've completed if you have cookies enabled)

Makos and Innards are a welcome relief when my brain starts hurting

try'em on your next lunch break!

(and here's one just for JB)

2007-10-18T05:50:00.001+01:00

this is probably a bit cruel but I couldn't help sniggering a little when I came across this picture of some of the university gays in my town... (I know, I'm terrible)

2007-10-14T23:43:00.000+01:00

let me tell you about the weird morning I had on Friday. I got back from my trip away the day before so was really tired. I was woken up by loud voices outside my bedroom door and heard someone walking around the house and into the other bedrooms talking on a phone in a booming voice, and then shouting down to someone outside the house. I guessed straight away it was a workman sent around by our letting agency, who once again failed to inform us or negotiate a convenient time (a few weeks ago I was woken by a strange man walking into my room saying he wanted to get to the cupboard to turn the water off) so as you can see it's not the first time this has happened. I got up and found the noisy guy painting the open front door so I asked him how he got in and he said "oh we knocked but noone answered so we used the key given to us by the letting agency". I told him he shouldn't just let himself in and they shouldn't send people to do work without asking us. He ummed and ahhed and made a few halfbaked excuses about not taking long and not being any trouble. Anyway, I was annoyed and I hate letting agencies and their horrible swindling and irregular ways, so I called the office. It was answered by a very out of breath man, so I asked for the woman who I think is the boss and who I've met previously, and he said she was off sick. Then the conversation went a bit like this:

"I've just woken up to find workmen walking around the house, who've let themselves in and we weren't notified about this"

"oh well, Eileen said you were expecting them"

"really? well we weren't told and we're not happy about it"

"well that's what she told me so you'll have to speak to her about it on monday"

"okay I will but it shouldn't happen anyway"

"well they're not doing any harm, I'm not taking them off the job now and anyway that house has got to be painted".

"well I'd be within my rights to send them away"

"well okay send them away if you like! There's nothing I can do about it.

I'm sorry okay, I'm sorry. Will you forgive me? will you forgive me? please forgive me? will you? WILL YOU FORGIVE ME? WILL YOU FORGIVE ME??!!!!"

"er.... well if I thought you meant it I might do"

"YES I DO! I'M HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN ABOUT IT!"

".........I'll speak to Eileen about it on Monday"

"OKAY BYE!"

It actually went on a bit longer than that but it ended in a crescendo with him going nuts as described. What a nutter eh, and what a professional way to conduct business! I shall speak to Eileen or maybe send her a letter. They think that because we don't own the property they can just walk in whenever they feel like it. We have a right to privacy which is protected by law and if they don't respect that then they could be prosecuted for harrassment. It's as if we're squatters who are simply tolerated because we pay rent but don't actually have any rights. They seem to forget that much of the contents of the house are our property even if the building isn't. I wonder what an insurance company would say if the knew my belongings were that vulnerable, with strangers letting themselves in at random times. I hate confrontations and I'm such a coward when it comes to these things. I wish I could be a hard-ass about this without getting wound up and nervous about it! If it happens again maybe I will tell the workmen to leave and ask my lawyer friend to send a strong letter to those crazy, lazy people that collect our money!

2007-10-12T00:54:00.001+01:00

Maybe you've heard that the latest Radiohead album was available to download from Wednesday. The most sensational thing is that you can decide how much you want to pay (after the 45p transaction fee), which is very brave of them. It's great the way they've cut out the fatcat middlemen. However I just read that they'll be releasing a cd version next year and it seems that the whole download thing is more of a promo for the cd version, especially considering that the encoding quality is half that of a usual Radiohead download - which is kind of disappointing. Having said that, I encode most of my albums at 160kps which is perfectly adequate most of the time. Considering the poor sound quality of some commercial releases, a lot of people seem to be indifferent about optimum sound quality even if they say they do. I wonder how many people would complain about sound quality if their mp3 player or software didn't actually reveal what the encoding rate was (but then I guess Radiohead are a fave of geeks).... incidentally I paid £3.50 for the album which is pretty much the most I'll pay for albums thanks to ebay and amazon marketplace. If it all goes straigh to the band in this case, it'll still be a fair amount considering how much the record labels usually cream off for themselves.

I got another download bargain this week. I bought the hits of angsty grungerockers P.O.D. from iTunes for £2.99. I'm sure it's an error on iTunes (considering you can buy the tracks seperately for the normal price of 79p) which seems to have gone unnoticed or ignored for quite a while judging by the reviews on that page in the store. It's a little known fact that jetpack enjoys grungey guitar music from time to time...

2007-10-07T20:54:00.001+01:00

well the ghost didn't put in an appearance, or make it's presence felt in any way so far. I'm a bit disappointed. There were times when I was here alone that I managed to make myself a bit scared, but a lot of the time I just had a mundane resignation that there would be something or someone walking about while I was trying to get off to sleep and I didn't really mind. I guess we can think of it as a replacement for our lost pet, though hopefully this one won't scratch at my door and demand my attention first thing in the morning... I really should think about going back home sometime this week but I don't feel like moving just yet...

The parents are watching all the rugby matches on the telly at the moment, like all good middle class people should. Even though my stepdad used to play for wasps I don't mind telling him I think it's a barbaric game. He has a t-shirt which says "Rugby is a game enjoyed by gentlemen and played by ruffians" which he admits is very true. I can't help but stop and gawp when the players come out though and you get a good look at them, especially as they tend to wear high-tech shirts now that often look like they've been painted on - phwoar. I then have to stop myself blurting out the things that go through my mind if you know what I mean....

2007-10-01T02:53:00.000+01:00

once again I'm housesitting for the parents, only now it's not nearly as much fun as it used to be, mostly because my favourite pussycat is no longer with us due to an unfortunate encounter with a truck on the road outside a few months ago. You know how some people are crazy about their dogs and miss them really badly if they go away on holiday for a few days, well I was the same with our cat, silly I know but I was always her favourite person and we had a special bond (though maybe she just liked that there was someone who spent half the day in bed and could keep her company). Anyway being here without her is really odd, like we're missing a family member and you keep expecting her to walk in the room or jump on the bed (not that my other family members used to jump on my bed). I keep forgetting she's not here and getting used to the idea is really hard when you have to do it several times an hour. Anyway that probably all sounds very silly and soppy....! We'd get another cat but the road outside is so busy and dangerous it wouldn't be responsible, ho hum.

My folks go away tomorrow and I'll be all alone in the house for 3 days. I used to enjoy it, just being me and the cat but now it's just me and the ghost. I've blogged in the past about the mysterious invisible person that walks up and down the stairs in the night, and my parents have heard it too so I'm sure I didn't imagine it. There have been other things too, objects moved into strange positions. My mum put her slippers under the chair in the bedroom but when she went back to get them, they were balancing with the soles upward - very odd. We also had someone come to the house to collect some furniture once and the lady said "this is a lovely house......oh, have you got a ghost?" She's one of those people who claims to be very sensitive about these things - maybe she says it to every homeowner she meets, who knows. Anyway, I have a pretty vivid imagination and have always been fascinated and scared by paranormal things so the next three nights are going to be like most haunted - but all on my own! Part of me hopes something strange will happen and another part is praying that is doesn't! I'll keep you posted anyway...

2007-09-25T17:29:00.000+01:00

The Guardian are definitely dumbing down a bit now, especially as they even have an article on the new Shayne Ward song and video.

"Yes, we know the Pinky and Perky thing worked for Akon in Lonely, but it doesn't mean it's a good idea, does it?
Whatever the case, it's the only thing to make me literally laugh out loud 15 times in one song so far this year, so well done that producer."

well yes I thought the same thing too but it sure is a catchy song and he looks supersexy in the video. It's a real shame it's chopped up into really short edits because you never really get a good look at his dancing which would have made the video even better. And he does some really funny exaggerated lipsyncing too, but I'd let him off. Hell, I'd let him anything!

2007-09-20T23:10:00.001+01:00

I suspect that Princess Beatrice may be closely related to a furby

2007-09-20T22:13:00.000+01:00

oh so *that's* why Menzies Campbell is known as Ming - interesting. It's not just some silly nickname then. I'm glad that's been cleared up.

2007-09-14T00:49:00.000+01:00

if you don't know who Francois Sagat is, then you probably wouldn't be interested but I just found these crazy/funny/sexy new pics on his blog. He's superhot and he knows it and so generously provides the interwebnet with a constant supply of his pics via his blog and myspace page. I always thought his hair was sprayed on which I thought was a bit tragic but apparently it's a tattoo which commands a bit more respect I think...

I love this videoclip of him too

2007-09-02T00:34:00.000+01:00

I can't help but wonder why they would advertise new programmes aimed at toddlers - on gaydar.... (though I'd probably watch it for 10 minutes as you might guess, though I bet it's not as good as Viva Piñata - thanks bittorrent)

...actually, checkout makka pakka - I like him.

2007-08-29T20:23:00.001+01:00

I have a bunch of new TV channels to watch - which is nice, thanks to Virgin Media. It's a shame we had to pay a £25 setup fee, even though we were already connected. Flicking through the kids channels I happened upon this freakshow - which is so disturbing that it's not funny. Kids might love it but what about the traumatic effect on the adults?! They're called the doodlebops by the way - even the name is horrible *shudder*

2007-08-16T14:37:00.000+01:00

who remembers this ad? I remember it well but only just saw it again after 20 odd years. I could still remember the "words" and was reminded of them every time I bought a kinder egg - it is very odd though, probably disturbed quite a few young children back in the day...

2007-08-15T00:32:00.000+01:00

who in their right mind would wear shoes like this? I don't know about your neck of the woods but round here, everyone is wearing them. There are currently 3313 for sale in the footwear section of ebay. I honestly don't think you could design an uglier piece of footwear if you tried... In years to come people will look back at old photos or see them collecting dust in a charity shop and say "oh, do you remember when we used to wear those things, weren't they hideous" (or it'll be on "I love the noughties" on Channel 4 in 2020). They're called crocs by the way (which is probably an elaborate joke by an australian - I know my Home and Away vernacular à la Alf Stewart)

2007-08-04T22:36:00.000+01:00

a couple of months ago I went crazy with the peroxide and bleached my hair (and scalp) nearly into oblivion. I kept it under a hat for the first ten days (that's not a metaphor) because until it's grown out, it looks a lot like this. For a while it looked great, and I let it grow much longer then usual because very short, very bleached hair looks a bit too gay for my liking, so eventually I started to look like this. Today I decided it was time to cut it and so all the bleached bits are now gone from the back and sides, but on the top where I like to keep it longer, the tips are still very pale blond. The overall effect is something like this - slightly silly in 2007 I think you'll agree; I could pretend it's ironic I suppose. I have a Nik Kershaw scarf somewhere I could wear.... You can't really win. It only looks right during a window when it's sufficiently grown out but not too overgrown. I'm wondering if I should shave it all off, bleach it all again, or just put up with it. I suspect it'll be the latter. Wot a palaver eh....

2007-07-23T15:43:00.001+01:00

I just love this advert, and not just because it's incredibly erotic. It seems that everyone on the net is trying to get hold of the song which is called Parlami d'amore, Mariu and is sung by Achille Togliani who is some very old Italian opera singer from the '50s. It seems the song is only available on one compilation cd on an obscure label, and which is unavailable everywhere. It's very annoying. You know it's rare when the internet can't find it for you. There are dozens of different versions on iTunes but the trouble with classical music is that there are always multiple versions and if you don't get the one you first fell in love with, everything else sounds like a poor imitation... ho hum.

In the meantime here's some music for ice cream vans

2007-07-22T22:46:00.000+01:00

I love pixel art, but silly me has only just discovered the fantastic eboy.com site - loads of amazing lovely pixellated goodness. I printed out a bunch of their pictures to stick on my wall and may just shell out £12 for one of their giant posters (or maybe I'll go the whole hog and get the wallpaper instead). You can get trainers and cushion covers and wrapping paper and all sorts too, though I think that could be a bit much. I once tried my hand at creating pixel art with very little success but having just read this handy tutorial (illustrated after chapter 1), it now seems a lot easier than I remember (though that's probably an illusion)

2007-07-17T00:53:00.000+01:00

well it's getting towards the time that my snooty-teacher-housemate moves out and I will no longer feel like a guest in my own home, and I won't have her boyfriend struggling to hide his irritation that I'm sitting in my sitting room watching my telly... we have come to develop a slight rapport, usually revolving around guinea pigs (pets are great ice breakers). (Did I mention that I found one of them lying dead in a puddle a few weeks ago? She'd left him there and gone to work - she didn't murder it by the way, it was just old and with dodgy kidneys). There's going to be so much room when she moves our her mountains of stuff.

Tonight she mentioned that she's reading The God Delusion by (militant atheist) Richard Dawkins - in which he preaches to the choir about how religion is a terrible thing. I mentioned that I'd read some of his books and that he makes a fine scientist but a lousy philosopher and she more or less said back off or we're going to have an argument and you don't want that... which is fair enough. It's not polite to discuss politics or religion unless you're close. It seems like non-atheists are the new paedophiles these days (not that I'm especially sympathetic with paedophiles mind you) the way that people instantly have a hateful knee-jerk reaction if you profess to a belief in God, and that seems to be the acceptable and morally just reaction with people today. If someone would actually learn about religion and understand all the philosophical and spiritual arguments and reasons that people believe in it, and then still argue against it, then their argument would be worthy of so much more respect. Instead all you get is lot of ignorant and simplistic and blinkered ranting which never really addresses the issue on a deep level and just goes to perpetuate prejudice, in my humble opinion....'tis a shame but you probably know by now it's one of my pet subjects. Anyway it's not as if religion is going to go out of style any time soon though I think the thought police in the secular west might try to put a stop to it, ho hum!

sorry that was a bit of a ramble, but I wanted to get it off my chest...

2007-07-14T23:16:00.000+01:00

not far from me, there's a Lime tree (or rather Linden tree to give it's correct name) which when it flowers every year, creates the most amazing and strong scent which drifts all across the park - and it smells so heavenly. This weekend I've walked under it several times and collected a few bunches of the little yellow flowers and they make my bedroom smell heavenly. It's sad that it'll probably only be in flower for a week or so then then the smell will be gone. I wonder if I can buy some kind of essential oil so I can smell it all year round? I shall endeavour to find some anyway. Apparently the Germans wrote a lot of romantic poetry about the flowering of lime trees. Here's another article about it with some pretty pics. In other news, I also bought a bamboo wind chime for the tiny sum of £2 so I am having a very sensual experience at home at the moment - which is nice...

update: well that took about a minute to find some linden flower scented oil so it'll be summer all year round at the jetpack technology institute from now on. A quick google brought up dozens of pages full of superlatives describing the lovely smell. This person clearly feels the same as me...

here's an online shop that sells products with (almost) every (pleasant) smell you can think of - including new car, ice cream and er, "clean" (and dirt too!)

2007-07-12T16:23:00.000+01:00

you can check out my crazy hair, and read about my music in this interview!

2007-06-30T23:55:00.000+01:00

all the big names seem to be making lots of great art right now (ie. art that I like). First there was Damien Hirst's incredibly expensive skull, then the Chapman brothers (phwoar) made some fantastic naive dinosaur sculptures for outside the Royal Academy Summer exhibition (which I know they despise and think is the height of naffness; understandable if you only like serious Art with a capital A). If it was up to me, that disturbing ugly eyesore by Anthony ~~Gormless~~ Gormley that looks like some kind of 1984-style torture device, ie. the "angel" of the north*, would be torn down and would be replaced with a giant grinning wonky dinosaur. I'm sure everyone would prefer it in time...

(*I don't think there's anything angelic or uplifting about it whatsoever. It just makes me think of endless oppression and suffering. It's like something from Nazi Germany... rantrantrant...)

2007-06-29T14:00:00.001+01:00

you've probably read about or seen this clip already but if not, you must see it. It's an american newsreader (a very well respected one apparently) refusing to read the story of Paris Hilton's release. Good for her.

2007-06-26T17:36:00.001+01:00

I heart Gethin - he's the best Blue Peter presenter evaaaah. Welsh guys are sexy imho, and he's so fit and clean cut and fun to be around (I imagine). There's a bunch more pics and videoclips of his exploits here. Checkout his welsh language tips video during which he sings his little heart out - awwww! They should also have a page of all those clips in which he took his clothes off on Blue Peter (and I've seen a few - wow)

I'll be your monkey...

(oh dear now I sound like Jamie4u)

2007-06-26T00:09:00.001+01:00

giant five foot penguins - I want one

2007-06-25T02:32:00.000+01:00

it's 2:30 and I can't sleep so I'm watching big bro live on my computer and eating Mr Kipling apple pies. And writing this.

I laughed my head off watching big brother earlier. Brian (did I get his name right) really didn't know who Romeo and Juliet are, and asked in a voice reminiscent of Rodney Trotter "wasn't Romeo in So Solid Crew?" and asked "who's that Shakespeare geezer? did he direct the film?" Doh! You couldn't make it up. Then later on he's talking dirty to Charley (on her request) and he says "I'll put my hand up your top and caress your tits" and she says "what does that mean?" Unbelievable innit.

I went mad with the peroxide this weekend. I bought two kits from superdrug because one is rarely strong enough to have the desired effect. It usually results in a canary yellow colour. I left the first lot on for 55 minutes which stung like hell and made me feel (more) peculiar. It was still slightly yellow on the tips (but very pale next to my scalp where the warmth makes it more effective) so the next day I applied the second lot. Thankfully I didn't have to wait so long, but now it's really pale, almost white. It looks kind of shocking. I have to check it in every available reflective surface but still I tend to forget I've done it then surprise myself when I pass the mirror. It's also a bit long and has a very dry fluffy texture so I look a bit like a troll (must use more conditioner). The trouble with having housemates is that you have to endure the comments when they first see the change which is a bit tiresome. Then there are their boyfriends and girlfriends too. I think I've got most of it out of the way now, but I'm still keeping it under a hat for now. I don't really like it till it's grown out a bit. My mate said I looked like an old man which was nice. Roll on three weeks time when it's a more two-tone look...

Who would have guessed that Chanelle has a grade 8 in violin.... unless she's winding everyone up. I used to play the violin but gave it up eventually because I just could get the hang of it. Oh well, I'll stick to the computer.

2007-06-20T02:47:00.000+01:00

I wonder if it's ever acceptable to say "it's political correctness gone mad" and possible to say it without sounding like either a preposterous BNP supporter or Mark/Jeremy from Peep Show. I only wonder because I actually said it the other day and it sounded strange hearing it from my own mouth...

You know those old folk, the zimmers who recorded that version of My Generation, well good luck to them and all that and I hope they all live a long time and do lots of fun things which previous generations would never have dared, but I find their song and video about as funny and interesting to watch as a compilation of Rod Hull and Emu's best fights...

That Carol on Big Brother really gets on my wick. Always being the martyr and getting everyone to sit down and have a meeting about domestic chores, and then sabotaging the meeting by walking away in a huff on the slightest pretext and refusing to be reasonable, or crying and going on and on about it while insisting she's alright and she doesn't want to talk about it. It's a kind of very childish emotional blackmail and petulant attention-seeking which would drive me nuts if I had to put up with it. If I was in the house (and wasn't such a timid wallflower) I'd have something to say about it...

2007-06-14T15:55:00.001+01:00

on a certain gay networking site, a local guy has been contacting me, whom I've been ignoring (it's generally more polite than saying sorry I'm not interested imho). His command of english is pretty poor and he's 48 years old. His photo seems to date from about 1980. Here is his latest message to me, trying to lure me into his web of sex:

OK I sarted with wellies I was about 8yaer old and it got so wet and muddy that my got me a of black rubber welies. I sart with my older borther's reel big small ones I use to put hand in side them rub then on my not so big cook but I did not why it would bigger?/So as I got old with own boots I did more.I would have big black cook some mudd too.when I start come that was fun and misy too but fuckin GOOD I had a old wellie hide up in my bedroom what is boy to with salf ok. Is the frist time I have any one. As siad in my profil I feet that i was only one. I went with lots of gay guy's I could never tell them WHEN what are into BOOT'S LAETHER and RUBBER TOO YES I'M INTO GLADE TO BE OK.

maybe I'm missing out

2007-06-03T01:41:00.001+01:00

well I've listened to the Paul Hartnoll album a few times tonight. In case you didn't know, he's one half of my all-time fave band Orbital so it was extremely exciting to have a whole new album of similar stuff to listen to. Having said all that, my verdict at this stage is that it's pretty disappointing. Most of the tracks are orchestral with a bit of electronics thrown in and it doesn't really work in my opinion. The electronic bits are fine but the arrangements of the orchestra sound kind of crude and predictable to me, as if it was written on a keyboard then someone simply printed out a score and got some classical musicians to perform it - which doesn't always translate successfully I suspect - the opening track is probably the most successful. It's a shame because some of the musical ideas are nice and would make great electronic tracks, but adding a few orchestral flourishes doesn't make it sound like fully-fledged orchestral music (there's an artist called Craig Armstrong who's had quite a bit of succees making similarly clunky orchestral music - I can't stand his either). There are a few songs with guest vocalists, one with Robert Smith of the Cure which is not very inspiring, and a few ballads which are kind of syrupy and over-egged but I guess having hired a whole orchestra and choir you have to use what you recorded rather than scrap it all and waste all that time and money. There's another spiky little song with vocals called aggro for which I had high hopes, but it's an incredibly dreary and tuneless dirge - nice production, just no tune that's of any interest... ho hum. It's a shame because bits of the album work well, and it's a nice idea to develop the more sophisticated composition of Orbital into something more classical but sadly the whole thing falls short in my opinion (but then I am hypercritical as you probably know). The must-have tracks are "patchwork guilt" and it's b-side on the single called "gloopy" both are excellent tracks which could easily be on an orbital album. The "whip remix" of the Robert Smith song manages to salvage it justabout and there's another b-side on that single (cd only) called "old school tie" which is worth having. If you stick those on the same album you probably have just enough good tracks to make a satisfying listen. If you actually read this far then you're probably one of a very few! (if you want some more orbital-ish stuff then you must check out which way now on the Longrange (aka phil hartnoll) myspace page)

2007-06-02T21:10:00.000+01:00

today I had a mooch about at Strawberry Fair which is a one day outdoor festival in Cambridge. Where I lived before it was almost literally on my doorstep but never actually bothered to go (you never appreciate the attractions on your doorstep do you, probably because you take them for granted). I didn't stay long, having just spent two days in bed feeling like I had concussion, I was still feeling a bit wobbly, but I enjoyed the time I was there. I would have loved to have stayed longer. The sun was hothotHOT and there were a million fit things on full display to ogle - must wear my darker glasses next time, it's more discreet. There's a picture here which pretty much sums up what strawberry fair looks like. Judge Judy's boyfriend said "I don't like all those dirty smelly hippies" in his south african accent which made me chuckle (I didn't go with them by the way). Anyway when I got back home I needed another nap and I could still hear the music drifting in the window. As I nodded off I recognised a song by back to the planet called Daydream - I only know it because Orbital did a fantastic remix of it. Anyway, a quick google informs me that it was them I heard playing on the stage at the fair. I had a walk through the site this evening while the sun was going down and everything was far more chaotic and everyone that more drunk or stoned, and I didn't really want to hang about to be honest. Besides I got the new album by Paul Hartnoll to listen to this evening, yay!

2007-06-02T03:03:00.000+01:00

well big bro 8 is on again as you may have noticed. I can actually get a pretty good reception on my TV card, while I hide away in my room and Judge Judy watches DVDs on my telly with her boyfriend... I lovelovelove the house, and the titles - very me. It must be like living in a painting, maybe something very bright by David Hockney. My heart sank when I found it was all girls but decided it wasn't so bad when I actually saw some of the characters. I really like the big welsh girl who is the spitting image of Matt Lucas. All the other young bimbos exemplify perfectly just how girls these days are obsessed with celebrity and/or status. They don't want a career or be taken as seriously as men, they just want to marry a footballer and be photographed half-naked as a short cut to a fancy lifestyle which they presume will make all the other wannabes green with envy - and so the cycle perpetuates itself. It's all very sad... Is that progress? will there ever be a backlash? let's hope so...

2007-05-31T23:59:00.000+01:00

imagine you've just moved into a shared house and one of the housemates, who is there a lot of the time, acts like you don't exist... it's a bit awkward. I moved in and the girl who has been here the longest doesn't even say hello when I bump into her nor did she even show me where I could keep my things in the kitchen when I arrived. If I had a new housemate I would at least do that, not act like we're two strangers on a midnight train. It's especially awkward as she takes over the sitting room every evening, sitting in the middle of the saggy sofa so there's no room for anyone else, while watching MY telly all evening, and I end up sneaking down to get some food then back to my room like a naughty teenager. It's probably my fault for being so timid and easily intimidated, but she is kind of surly and cold. Her friends are nice and always say hello and give me a smile, whereas she just turns her head then away again. She does make conversation sometimes but it's always about her and invariably involves her lecturing about her field of expertise (she's a history teacher) or mouthing off dogmatically about her pet peeves (religion and eating meat)... ho hum. She told me about her extreme vertigo/phobia of heights and so to empathise I mentioned that I had agoraphobia for a few years and her reaction was just an incredulous "oh, that's bizarre" and I felt like a freak, an embarassed freak. I wish I was more assertive - I'm such a wuss! Oh well, she starts a new job at a different school come September so she'll have to be moved out by then - and there'll be LOADS of room too when she takes all her crap with her! She did ask me to feed her guinea pigs while she was away this week which I duly did and I thought we were developing a rapport but I don't think it came to anything... I tried to think of a nickname for here which was initially Judge Dredd then I decided on Judge Judy (her name is similar) which is more fitting. For a while it was Sue Perkins cos there is a physical similarity but my friend told me off for calling her that 'cos Sue Perkins is actually cool... My other housemate is an academic from Argentina, and he's lovely; always smiles and makes conversation so it's not all bad.

2007-05-10T09:59:00.000+01:00

still busy packing but thought I'd stop for a second to tell you that I've noticed in the last 48 hours a very large prominent vein on my left temple which pulses when I feel it... I hope it goes down again. It's like something out of Ren and Stimpy. Must be all that adrenaline

2007-05-08T21:19:00.000+01:00

I collected the key for my new place this evening plus I got to meet the third housemate who I'd not met yet and she seems really nice. She gave me a copy of the contract I asked for which I'll need in order to claim housing benefit and pay the rent. Now I think I have a MAJOR problem. I paid £300 deposit and £365 rent in advance, but the contract only says that between three of us, the rent is £800 per month. It doesn't say anywhere what my exact share is, and if you divide it by three it's only £266.67. Assuming housing benefit will pay ALL of that £266 (which it probably won't - and it will probably pay nothing until I get a more detailed tenancy agreement (for which I'll be charged by the letting agency yet again no doubt)) it still leaves me a hundred pounds a month to pay, leaving me virtually nothing to live on.... If, like they told me, the rent was £365 and they had an agreement stating that everything would be fine. I guess it's my stupid fault for not asking for a tenancy agreement before paying up.... hmmm, what to do. I've got a mountain of sorting out to do and very little energy to do it with, and now I know I'm not going to sleep a wink till I'm in and it's all sorted...

What I think I'll have to do is move in anyway and see if I can get a more detailed tenancy agreement (I've already paid to live there for a month so I may as well go ahead). Hopefully I can get one which is detailed enough for the housing benefit office to actually give me the money I need. Then hopefully I should be able to claim council tax benefit which would go some way to cover the other £100 I'm liable for, leaving me enough to live on.

The other problem is that it being a joint contract (not three seperate agreements) if someone (or everyone) moves out I'm then responsible for paying their rent which could be £800 a month and obviously housing benefit is only going to pay my share. I think in that situation I'd just refuse to pay. In my opinion it's the letting agency who are responsible for finding tenants, not me....

even so, it's a complete nightmare. Maybe I'll just have to write off a months rent and look for somewhere else straight away which is definitely not with a shared tenancy agreement, but an uncomplicated affordable agreement for one person (not easy in Cambridge). Oh gawd what a mess....where's the southern comfort..... it's amazing how much you feel like blogging when things like this happen

(postscript) I just had an idea. I don't think my cheque for deposit and rent has been cashed yet. Maybe tomorrow I'll call the bank and ask about stopping it. I think it would onloy be fair seeing as I was told the rent was £365 when in fact it was (probably) only £266... oh gawd. I'm going to be awake all night thinking about this now and I need to sleeeeeep!

2007-05-06T23:11:00.000+01:00

well my folks are back from their hols and it's my last night here where I've been housesitting for them, yet again (I gotta go home and start moving house tomorrow). Maybe I've been watching too much of "Most Haunted" (which is mostly shit I know but I like to laugh at it*) but there are strange noises around this place in the small hours. Last time I was here, I went to bed one night at about 3am and before I went to sleep I heard someone moving around on the landing. I thought it was probably my mum or dad going to the bathroom but was surprised at how noisy they were being. Then I heard footsteps going down the stairs and the swish of a hand along the bannister. My dad sometimes gets up at 6am to watch the cricket but this was too early so I didn't think it was that. I was just beginning to wonder what that person was doing downstairs when I heard them come up the stairs again and then all was quiet. In the morning I asked who it was but both parents swore they didn't even wake up in the night. Then my dad jokingly said "It was probably Rhoda". I asked who she was and apparently she was the old lady that lived here for many decades before going into a home. My mum added that the lady had died. I asked when and my dad said "about two weeks ago"... and I got a shiver when he said that. Maybe she came back to look after the place. Then again last night I thought I heard someone moving around outside the bedroom door and thirty seconds later I heard the bang of the toilet seat falling down in the downstairs loo which is directly below my bedroom. This was at 2:52am. It's a very distinctive noise which I've heard a few times but not in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep.... Is that creepy or what? It probably sounds like I made this little story up, but it's true I promise!

Last time I was staying here I was reading this book - which is great; creepy and laugh-out-loud funny. Maybe I'm letting my imagination run away with me...

*if you think it's all bollocks you might enjoy badpsychics.com - they have a whole section devoted to Most Haunted including some rather incriminating outtakes and exposés...

2007-04-25T00:38:00.000+01:00

well I thought I'd stop by and write a few lines at last. I know it's been a while but it's been a weird time for me lately. First of all I've been feeling a lot better (most of the time) and for some reason feel less inclined to sit at the computer and ramble on about stuff in my blog. I get restless and feel the need to go and do something a bit more energetic - which is a good thing I guess. As well as that, I'm moving house in 10 days times. I'm currently housesitting for the parents (again) and brought about 10 ten large boxes heaving with CDs and books to store, oh and a piano - which makes me worry about whether I'm going to have enough space at the new place.

the positives of moving are:

meeting and getting to know some new people (my housemates who seem nice)
I get a nice sunny garden to sit in complete with guinea pigs and large willow tree
not having to deal with the oddballs, drunks and beggars which are commonplace where I currently live
not having to smell the waist-deep landfill (literally) which is crammed into my neighbours flat (think Roseanne crossed with Waynetta Slob)

the negatives are:

exorbitant made-up charges by letting agency scumbags (£94 for a copy of your contract?!)
Having to live in a smaller room and squeeze all the things I need into a tighter space
Not being able to stay up all night playing music and generally making as much noise as I like
the whole hassle of sorting/moving/storing junk/furniture

but on the whole I think it's a good change. I look forward to lazing in the garden with furry animals to pet, and nobody harrassing me - yay! Maybe I'll feel more like blogging once I'm in and sorted out. I'm looking forward to concentrating on my music again, though I daresay it'll be months before I get around to it...