I need something new to look forward to because this week I passed a huge milestone and had thought about little else in the months leading up to it. On Tuesday I went to the dentist to have a couple of overdue fillings which had been put off for 18 months. It sounds kind of pathetic but I was dreading it all that time and felt like I had a ticking timebomb in my mouth waiting to go off, and would invariably think about the creeping decay when I went to bed and when I woke up in the morning. I've usually been okay with dentists but since I got sick a few years ago and felt weak as a kitten it became a bit of a trauma for me. The last two times I had work done I passed out in the chair, so was half expecting the same to happen this time. Thankfully it passed without incident and I felt strangely composed (must have been the hypnosis!) and a part of me enjoyed the challenge of facing my fears (though I very nearly didn't go at all - I think the charge for not going probably was a factor). The dentist was this really sweet Irishman about ten years my junior. When he'd finished I wanted to kiss him but he said it probably wasn't a good idea considering the mercury fumes emanating from my mouth. Now I'm feeling that much stronger I think the phobia may have passed which is in itself a huge relief. I was on such a high when I got home that the first thing I did was call my mum to tell her the fantastic news. Now I feel I have a new lease of life and am protected from the ravages of decay for another year or so at least, I need something else to think about in my plan for the months ahead... (which is quite nice though, it's not that I'm really demotivated by it).