all the big names seem to be making lots of great art right now (ie. art that I like). First there was Damien Hirst's incredibly expensive skull, then the Chapman brothers (phwoar) made some fantastic naive dinosaur sculptures for outside the Royal Academy Summer exhibition (which I know they despise and think is the height of naffness; understandable if you only like serious Art with a capital A). If it was up to me, that disturbing ugly eyesore by Anthony Gormless Gormley that looks like some kind of 1984-style torture device, ie. the "angel" of the north*, would be torn down and would be replaced with a giant grinning wonky dinosaur. I'm sure everyone would prefer it in time...

(*I don't think there's anything angelic or uplifting about it whatsoever. It just makes me think of endless oppression and suffering. It's like something from Nazi Germany... rantrantrant...)

you've probably read about or seen this clip already but if not, you must see it. It's an american newsreader (a very well respected one apparently) refusing to read the story of Paris Hilton's release. Good for her.

I heart Gethin - he's the best Blue Peter presenter evaaaah. Welsh guys are sexy imho, and he's so fit and clean cut and fun to be around (I imagine). There's a bunch more pics and videoclips of his exploits here. Checkout his welsh language tips video during which he sings his little heart out - awwww! They should also have a page of all those clips in which he took his clothes off on Blue Peter (and I've seen a few - wow)



I'll be your monkey...



(oh dear now I sound like Jamie4u)

giant five foot penguins - I want one

it's 2:30 and I can't sleep so I'm watching big bro live on my computer and eating Mr Kipling apple pies. And writing this.

I laughed my head off watching big brother earlier. Brian (did I get his name right) really didn't know who Romeo and Juliet are, and asked in a voice reminiscent of Rodney Trotter "wasn't Romeo in So Solid Crew?" and asked "who's that Shakespeare geezer? did he direct the film?" Doh! You couldn't make it up. Then later on he's talking dirty to Charley (on her request) and he says "I'll put my hand up your top and caress your tits" and she says "what does that mean?" Unbelievable innit.

I went mad with the peroxide this weekend. I bought two kits from superdrug because one is rarely strong enough to have the desired effect. It usually results in a canary yellow colour. I left the first lot on for 55 minutes which stung like hell and made me feel (more) peculiar. It was still slightly yellow on the tips (but very pale next to my scalp where the warmth makes it more effective) so the next day I applied the second lot. Thankfully I didn't have to wait so long, but now it's really pale, almost white. It looks kind of shocking. I have to check it in every available reflective surface but still I tend to forget I've done it then surprise myself when I pass the mirror. It's also a bit long and has a very dry fluffy texture so I look a bit like a troll (must use more conditioner). The trouble with having housemates is that you have to endure the comments when they first see the change which is a bit tiresome. Then there are their boyfriends and girlfriends too. I think I've got most of it out of the way now, but I'm still keeping it under a hat for now. I don't really like it till it's grown out a bit. My mate said I looked like an old man which was nice. Roll on three weeks time when it's a more two-tone look...

Who would have guessed that Chanelle has a grade 8 in violin.... unless she's winding everyone up. I used to play the violin but gave it up eventually because I just could get the hang of it. Oh well, I'll stick to the computer.

I wonder if it's ever acceptable to say "it's political correctness gone mad" and possible to say it without sounding like either a preposterous BNP supporter or Mark/Jeremy from Peep Show. I only wonder because I actually said it the other day and it sounded strange hearing it from my own mouth...

You know those old folk, the zimmers who recorded that version of My Generation, well good luck to them and all that and I hope they all live a long time and do lots of fun things which previous generations would never have dared, but I find their song and video about as funny and interesting to watch as a compilation of Rod Hull and Emu's best fights...

That Carol on Big Brother really gets on my wick. Always being the martyr and getting everyone to sit down and have a meeting about domestic chores, and then sabotaging the meeting by walking away in a huff on the slightest pretext and refusing to be reasonable, or crying and going on and on about it while insisting she's alright and she doesn't want to talk about it. It's a kind of very childish emotional blackmail and petulant attention-seeking which would drive me nuts if I had to put up with it. If I was in the house (and wasn't such a timid wallflower) I'd have something to say about it...

on a certain gay networking site, a local guy has been contacting me, whom I've been ignoring (it's generally more polite than saying sorry I'm not interested imho). His command of english is pretty poor and he's 48 years old. His photo seems to date from about 1980. Here is his latest message to me, trying to lure me into his web of sex:

OK I sarted with wellies I was about 8yaer old and it got so wet and muddy that my got me a of black rubber welies. I sart with my older borther's reel big small ones I use to put hand in side them rub then on my not so big cook but I did not why it would bigger?/So as I got old with own boots I did more.I would have big black cook some mudd too.when I start come that was fun and misy too but fuckin GOOD I had a old wellie hide up in my bedroom what is boy to with salf ok. Is the frist time I have any one. As siad in my profil I feet that i was only one. I went with lots of gay guy's I could never tell them WHEN what are into BOOT'S LAETHER and RUBBER TOO YES I'M INTO GLADE TO BE OK.

maybe I'm missing out

well I've listened to the Paul Hartnoll album a few times tonight. In case you didn't know, he's one half of my all-time fave band Orbital so it was extremely exciting to have a whole new album of similar stuff to listen to. Having said all that, my verdict at this stage is that it's pretty disappointing. Most of the tracks are orchestral with a bit of electronics thrown in and it doesn't really work in my opinion. The electronic bits are fine but the arrangements of the orchestra sound kind of crude and predictable to me, as if it was written on a keyboard then someone simply printed out a score and got some classical musicians to perform it - which doesn't always translate successfully I suspect - the opening track is probably the most successful. It's a shame because some of the musical ideas are nice and would make great electronic tracks, but adding a few orchestral flourishes doesn't make it sound like fully-fledged orchestral music (there's an artist called Craig Armstrong who's had quite a bit of succees making similarly clunky orchestral music - I can't stand his either). There are a few songs with guest vocalists, one with Robert Smith of the Cure which is not very inspiring, and a few ballads which are kind of syrupy and over-egged but I guess having hired a whole orchestra and choir you have to use what you recorded rather than scrap it all and waste all that time and money. There's another spiky little song with vocals called aggro for which I had high hopes, but it's an incredibly dreary and tuneless dirge - nice production, just no tune that's of any interest... ho hum. It's a shame because bits of the album work well, and it's a nice idea to develop the more sophisticated composition of Orbital into something more classical but sadly the whole thing falls short in my opinion (but then I am hypercritical as you probably know). The must-have tracks are "patchwork guilt" and it's b-side on the single called "gloopy" both are excellent tracks which could easily be on an orbital album. The "whip remix" of the Robert Smith song manages to salvage it justabout and there's another b-side on that single (cd only) called "old school tie" which is worth having. If you stick those on the same album you probably have just enough good tracks to make a satisfying listen. If you actually read this far then you're probably one of a very few! (if you want some more orbital-ish stuff then you must check out which way now on the Longrange (aka phil hartnoll) myspace page)

today I had a mooch about at Strawberry Fair which is a one day outdoor festival in Cambridge. Where I lived before it was almost literally on my doorstep but never actually bothered to go (you never appreciate the attractions on your doorstep do you, probably because you take them for granted). I didn't stay long, having just spent two days in bed feeling like I had concussion, I was still feeling a bit wobbly, but I enjoyed the time I was there. I would have loved to have stayed longer. The sun was hothotHOT and there were a million fit things on full display to ogle - must wear my darker glasses next time, it's more discreet. There's a picture here which pretty much sums up what strawberry fair looks like. Judge Judy's boyfriend said "I don't like all those dirty smelly hippies" in his south african accent which made me chuckle (I didn't go with them by the way). Anyway when I got back home I needed another nap and I could still hear the music drifting in the window. As I nodded off I recognised a song by back to the planet called Daydream - I only know it because Orbital did a fantastic remix of it. Anyway, a quick google informs me that it was them I heard playing on the stage at the fair. I had a walk through the site this evening while the sun was going down and everything was far more chaotic and everyone that more drunk or stoned, and I didn't really want to hang about to be honest. Besides I got the new album by Paul Hartnoll to listen to this evening, yay!

well big bro 8 is on again as you may have noticed. I can actually get a pretty good reception on my TV card, while I hide away in my room and Judge Judy watches DVDs on my telly with her boyfriend... I lovelovelove the house, and the titles - very me. It must be like living in a painting, maybe something very bright by David Hockney. My heart sank when I found it was all girls but decided it wasn't so bad when I actually saw some of the characters. I really like the big welsh girl who is the spitting image of Matt Lucas. All the other young bimbos exemplify perfectly just how girls these days are obsessed with celebrity and/or status. They don't want a career or be taken as seriously as men, they just want to marry a footballer and be photographed half-naked as a short cut to a fancy lifestyle which they presume will make all the other wannabes green with envy - and so the cycle perpetuates itself. It's all very sad... Is that progress? will there ever be a backlash? let's hope so...